Suspended: Waiting on the Lord

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" Isaiah 40:31.

I want to write to encourage you today, if today is a hard one for you. I would love to lift the gaze of your eyes from downward, focused on your path, to upward so you can see the Father’s smile as He looks at you. So that whatever weight you carry will feel lighter, and so your heart will know the sweet sensation of rest and freedom.

But today I feel unfit for the task.

This season has been hard on our little family, and though I know our Father is faithful and has always been faithful, I am tired. Circumstances have acted like the shaking of a sieve where many of the unnecessaries of life have fallen through the holes. We live each day now focused mainly on the essentials. 

There is beauty in this simplicity, where life is cherished and relationships held dear. Distractions from what truly matters are minimal. But there is also a dryness. The added flavor of the extra is missing and missed. Being stripped down can leave one feeling cold; can leave one feeling thin. I feel cold. I feel thin.

I want to be exceptional at encouraging, but I fear I am exceptional at sorrowing. Feeling the pain of life comes so naturally, easily. Joy so often seems to choose another’s heart to light upon, though I figure I’m only imagining this, being overly dramatic.

If depression is what this is, then I would say depression is like being suspended in a dense, heavy liquid where movement is slow and taxing, almost impossible, and where outside forces have little to no impact. Do you relate to what I am describing? Have you been here before? Are you here now?

So where does one go from here?

Circumstances will change, eventually, and what feels overwhelming today will have moved on and behind. The path keeps going. I can see up ahead that there are turns, hills and valleys, I just don’t know what the weather will be like when we get there. Ha! I suppose that’s okay.

Today, then. What about today? What about right now, this moment, when my heart is heavy and I am disappointed because I do not feel able to shine light onto your life? What do I do? 

All I can think to do is to stop trying. It’s not me anyway, right? I’m not the one on whom you rely for good cheer or for hope or for light in the darkness. No, and heaven forbid. Your strength, just like mine, comes from the Father of all. He is our hope. He is our joy. He is our way through. 

So let it be His voice we lean in to hear today:

 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” Matthew 11:28-29.

 “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed” Deuteronomy 31:8.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” Isaiah 41:10.

Are you feeling suspended today, held almost motionless in a denseness you cannot break free from? I hope you find encouragement wherever the Father puts it, for I believe He will put it in your line of sight. It will be there. He is the giver of all good gifts, faithful to remember us. Let us put our hope in Him today!